Taking It Easy

It's the week before the MS Ride and we are supposed to be taking it easy, eating lots of carbs and drinking lots of water.  Sounds great, right?  Not so much.  When I've been in a routine that has been working for me, I get very attached to it and fearful of any break in it.  It is so hard for me to get into a good routine in the first place, I don't want to do anything that is going to make me end back up at square one.  I've been back to square one so many times.  I just don't want to go there again. 
It seems silly.  How much can spending one week riding less and eating more cost me?  But the fear remains.  Everytime I get into a routine where I'm actually losing weight, I feel like all the stars align, like I'm breathing rarified air.  I also feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop because it always has.  My weight loss plateaus or I injure myself and can't exercise.  Or I just get tired of dieting and start eating again.  The cold hard fact is that everytime I've dieted in the past, I've failed, gone off the wagon and gained all the weight back.  I keep telling myself that this time is different.  I've got a doctor helping me.  I've got suppliments that work.  I'm far less hungry than I've been in the past.  Still, the fear remains.